You Are Already Doing What You Want (Probably)

What would you think if I told you that you were almost always doing what you wanted to do? You might think that I was crazy. Well I will try to convince you to come be crazy with me. It’s fun ;)

So this whole idea originated one day as I was talking to my Mom about some conflicting plans she had. She wanted to go to one event, but some minor acquaintances invited her to their wedding. She didn’t want to go to the wedding, she barely knew the people. She wanted to do this other thing! I pointed out to her that sure she didn’t want to go to the wedding, and maybe she did want to do this other thing, but the thing she wanted the most was not to be impolite to these people that invited her to their wedding.

WOOSH!!! The floodgates of my mind opened! I never thought of this before, but I could probably apply this to any situation to ultimately realize that what I want to be doing the most is usually what I end up doing. “I want to go dance at this Umphrey’s show, but I have to go to my grandmother’s funeral.” That just boils down to “I want to go to this concert, but what I want more is to not disappoint myself and my family by not attending my grandmother’s funeral.”

“I want to start a commune, but I can’t invest because I have to spend all the money on rent and my car payments” = “I want to start a commune, but I would rather not risk my current life situation and assets on that venture.”

And so, I just kept thinking of situations and I realized that what I wanted to do most usually was what happened. This forced me to completely change my attitude towards not getting what I wanted. I had almost no reason to be upset when I wasn’t getting what I wanted, because chances are I was!

I mean, I believe one of the reasons we get upset when we don’t think we’re getting what we want is because we have the ridiculous notion that what we want should come easy. I can blame society and culture for this but it’s still the responsibility of the individual to rise above those presumptions.

On a deeper level, I feel like we get upset when we don’t think we’re doing what we want because on a subconscious level we feel we have less control over the situation. Well, rest assured, you have more control than you think.

Do I really know what I want?

Do I really know what I want?

Now, don’t get me wrong, I know there are exceptions to the rule. I know there are always exceptions to the rules! Say my plane hadn’t arrived at the airport, and I really wanted to be in the air towards my vacation destination. Or I’m being tortured and I REALLY don’t want to be getting tortured at the moment. I’m not trying to explain by some twisted logic that you really do want to be in those situations. They are perfect examples of how we are upset when we don’t get what we want because we are not in control of the situation.

It also gave me a new appreciation for when we do things that we really want to. To really want something is incredible. “I want to start a commune, so I’m going to start doing what I know I have to do to make that happen, whether I am risking anything or not, because I REALLY want that.” It can be an admirable attitude, and a great way to assume responsibility for what’s happening in your life and take more control.

So, next time you’re starting to get upset because you’re not doing what you want, just remember that you probably are. You’re allowed to regret the situation you’re in, but be careful because chances are you had a choice and you’re in your current situation because you do have control, and chose to do what you most wanted. Most of all, take some comfort in that, let it shine some light on the situation!

What do you think?comment with

3 Responses

  1. rek says:

    I really like how you came to this feeling, I totally agree its accommodation for all that are around you. I also realize it is the surrounding that you exist in that shapes you… People who have to work somewhere they do not enjoy show their emotions, some let go and others play the game of biting their tongue and swallow all the bullshit just to get through it. Others get to do what they want all the time which usually leads to laziness and non-production. Only reason I know this is because I am a product of this house that I live in and really I have played both sides. But what I have found is to create and expand you have to take yourself out of your comfort zone… I guess what I am getting at is sometimes you have to make sacrifices, sometimes you get what you want but overall You have to do what is right for you and your immediate surroundings. Or else we you will grow old playing the game of bullshit until they win and we all hate each other

  2. Terry says:

    Because he believes in himself,
    he doesnt try to convince others.
    because he is content with himself,
    he doesnt need others’ approval.
    because he accepts himself,
    the whole world accepts him.

  3. Angel says:

    So are you starting a commune or were you just figuratively speaking? Just curious:)

    Anyway I totally agree with you to some respect but also see & agree w/ Rek’s point that sometimes in life you have to make sacrifices, whether for you & your immediate surroundings or sometimes even for the benefit of others in your life, especially as a parent…But Tho I whole-heartedly agree w/Rek that sometimes you just Have to make Sacrifices, I Also see how even those situations Your point, Brian, comes into play As you are choosing to make those sacrifices because of something Else that you Want or Don’t Want to happen…Whether it be you Want your children’s happiness or well-being Above something else you may long for Or In Rek’s scenario – perhaps they Want to “create and expand” more than they want to be in their comfort zone…Obviously so or they would choose to stay in the comfort zone than to be out of it to expand and create, and tho the sacrifice of the comfort zone would be made in such a situation Ultimately the person is choosing what they Want over something else they may want but in the end they are doing either what they want more otherwise possibly they are just conforming to what they feel the majority of society would find more acceptable & would approve of them for And Even then Brian’s point comes back into play As then they apparently “Want” society’s acceptance More than they want to be in a said “comfort zone” or lazy & unproductive, or whatever lol…

    • admin says:

      It just so happens that the way I spend my available resources puts my life and the lives of those around me closer to a commune lifestyle ;)

      Angel, it sounds like you get exactly what I am saying! Ultimately in all of those situations (and most situations in general), people are choosing to do what they ultimately want. I feel like if people reconciled this perspective they would either become more satisfied with what they are doing, or they would be motivated to change. A little greater understanding of one’s own thinking can create great improvements in attitude and a better perception of quality of life!