Read My Mind-thoughts

You Are Already Doing What You Want (Probably) – 8 1/2 years later

September 24th, 2019

I was reading a book I recently purchased and it made me think of one of my blog posts I had written in the past. I haven't used this blog in 4 years now. The last post I did was actually just for a project and I needed a way to share it with people in the class so I made a post for it. Really the last post I made was in 2012.

I came back and started reading the post I was reminded of and it was really refreshing and also hilarious that I had some very keen insights and beginnings of ideas that I really had no clue at the time how great they were. So I figured it would be funny to do a few blog posts that are reviews of my own blog posts. I hope you enjoy :)

The original post is here

This motherfuckin' gem. The one that started it all and the one that brought me back. Before I even get into the any of the subject matter, just check out those Umphrey's gems there for you to play. Hilarious.

What got me in the book I was reading was that it was discussing the topic of freedom and said something to the effect of what I wrote in that blog post. It made me realize that I have held this belief that is a key ingredient to true freedom in this life for quite some time, but never really understood what a gem it was.

The true freedom that I speak of here is a freedom of the mind. I'm not talking about anything political or in regards to human rights. That's a matter for a whole different blog post. Many people are a slave to their thoughts and beliefs. It doesn't have to be complicated either - it's as simple as the feeling of anxiety. It all boils down to being happy. And a happy and free, open person has the ability to expand, grow and evolve in this experience which is ultimately the meaning of why we are in it to begin with.

Understanding that in almost all circumstances we are doing what we want to be doing is incredibly liberating because it helps us feel in control. It helps us be happy if we understand that we are the authors of this experience rather than being the victim of it. The shift in perspective can help us make better decisions. If you think you "don't want to do that" and recognize your choice in the matter it helps you consciously make the decision that most benefits you.

Ultimately though I have have had a few expansions of perspective since I wrote that and would not agree with some of it. I would say that beyond the perspective of a "self" there are some agreements happening on higher levels which determine things like the lives we are born into and even specific life-altering experiences. Imagine it like there are "higher versions" of yourself that are planning the milestones that can lead to our greatest moments of personal growth and evolution in this experience. I emphasize that because the experience is why we are here in the first place. Perhaps those experiences it seems no one would want are being coordinated on a much higher level for the benefit of the whole, but it is our limited selves that experience suffering through misunderstanding the context of things.

In some new-age or spiritual ideologies there is the idea that we grow through suffering. And many of us have had our greatest of moments of growth come through great suffering. However, I think that our suffering is actually because we are choosing to do "not learn the lesson" and the longer we choose to do that the greater the suffering gets. Sometimes it gets so great we, or something in our lives, breaks. And so we finally make the choice that benefits us. But the suffering was actually not what caused the learning; it was just a side effect of us not making the choice in our best interest sooner.

In this context of things we aren't really a victim at any point. As an extension of "the all" we are just playing a role to have a certain experience. And in this scenario our service is to expand and grow the collective understanding by living out the experience to the fullest. There's quite a bit more I'd have to explain about my perspective for many people to understand that but it's too much for right now and the baggledoon is wearing off (not really hahaha) so I'm going to wrap this up.

To be happy is at the very core our goal within this existence. I can't really think of a more general universally applicable description of being "not happy" than "not doing what I want to be doing". So, if we can try to keep in mind that we are always already doing what we want to be doing it frees our mind and ultimately leads to what we truly desire. This motherfuckin gem right here!

And now, your moment of zen.

Your moment of zen

Irish Moss Spagyric

December 30th, 2015

I began this project by deciding that I would like a do a spagyric of a moon herb. I did some searching around for moon herbs and chose Irish Moss because I have used it as an ingredient in brewing before, simply for the fact that I could buy a lot of it and I knew it would still be used. After purchasing the dried herb, I found that there were a lot of health benefits to Irish Moss that I wasn't aware of. Since the purpose of this is to mainly document the procedure and results I will just link to some of this information ( |

The next thing I did was look for an auspicious time to start the work. After taking a while to look at what would be an auspicious time to do something I realized there was nothing particularly great so I chose to start on the full moon on July 31st which was also a blue moon. I don't think there is any astrological significance to blue moons but since it was full, and I needed to start it at an appropriate time in the near future, this would do.

So, at around 4:52, which was the start of the hour of the moon (according to the tool used at on 2015-07-31 I started my tincture. I also then realized by looking at my jHora software that I had passed the time of the full moon since it was around 4 AM and I waited until PM since it would be the hour of the moon. I heard that it is worse to do it after the moon has been full, so perhaps the preference should go to doing it before the full moon time rather than going to the hour of the moon on that day.

To prepare I made a small offering with some incense and sat in a brief meditation to set my intention and raise bodhicitta. I recited the prayer "The Verses of the Eight Noble Auspicious Ones" from our Chenrezig Sadhana, followed by doing the sadhana for the Medicine Buddha and a short meditation while chanting the mantra for the moon "Om Soyama Namah". I poured the grape alcohol into a mason jar and then filled it with the Irish Moss until there was about a half inch or so alcohol above the level of herb. The herb swells up quite a bit so I wanted to leave that room. I put a plastic top on the jar and placed it beneath a pyramid to start its work.

The calcination of the plant phase of the work was my next step, and I did some research to find the best way to get a good calcination of the plant and found that a very effective method would be to use a kiln. I found a kiln for sale on Craigslist for a great deal and purchased it. Following that there were several ordeals which included ordering the things I needed to fire the kiln, learning to use it, and also running a new electrical line out to the garage so that I could plug it in and fire it! After this whole process which happened over a couple of weeks I test fired, and was successful.

I decided to do the calcination on 2015-11-25 day because the moon is full at 5:44 pm and it hits its degree of exaltation at 3 degrees Taurus at 7:26:34 pm. At 17:05 I entered a meditative state and recited "The Verses of the Eight Noble Auspicious Ones followed by reciting the Moon mantra 108 times to anchor those energies. I then began the work by filtering the alcohol using a buchner filter and filter flask with a filter paper. Once I was done I weighed the herb. I have approx 157 mL of alcohol portion of the tincture and 76.5g of herb.

At 17:35 I incinerated the alcohol soaked herb in a glass dish.

The alcohol burned off but it barely even made a dent in the herb itself. I tried to grind it up but wasn't able to do much. I put it into two separate crucibles in the kiln.

At 18:20 I start kiln at a low temp.

At 20:45 I come out and check and the kiln has gone off. I remove the herb, grind it in the mortar and pestle and put it back in at full heat.

I come out at 22:04 and lower the heat so it stays warm longer.

At 23:10 I checked again and the kiln had gone off,. I removed the crucibles with tongs. I stir it up with a glass rod and noticed that the is red hot in there. At 23:25 I grind it return it to the kiln.

At 01:15 the next morning I come out and the kiln had shut off. I leave it alone, go to sleep and, wait till next day

I took note of the times that I did this for a few days, but I had to continue to do it until 2015-12-09 so I will not add the details of each. This should suffice for the general idea.

I have purchased some items so that in the future I can safely handle the crucibles and kiln so that I may stir the ash and do one long firing rather than multiple little ones.

My last day of kilning was 2015-12-09. I weighed out the bit remaining in the crucible to 22.99g. Over time the ashes had taken on a reddish color. I assume this is due to oxidation of the iron content of the herb due to condensation from temperature shifts where the kiln was being kept. After a 4+ hour period of firing the herb in the kiln I decide it is done, turn it off and let it cool for the night.

On 2015-12-10 I remove the crucible from the kiln, grind up the herb and weight it in at 21.99g. I ground it up one last time and put the ash in a jar and fill the jar with distilled water.

On 2015-12-20 I filtered the salt solution from the ash. I put the salt solution into a beaker and into a sand bath at 100 deg to evaporate. I re-filled the jar with the ash and distilled water to perform a second lixiviation.

On 2015-12-23 I filtered the second salt solution in the jar from the ash. I took that solution as well as the solution from the first lixiviation and put them into trays for better surface area.

On 2015-12-14 I removed the trays with the salt solution from the sand bath and gently heated them to evaporate any remaining water. I scraped the white, purified salt from the trays and weighed it out to 13.46g. I attempted to mortar and pestle it but the white salt mushed underneath the pestle and surrounded it like snow, so I could not grind it up. I put the purified salt into its own jar.

The next part of the work I decided to do on 2015-12-25 since there was a full moon at 06:11 and it was Christmas. That day I woke up got into a meditative state. I raised bodhicitta and chanted the mantra for the moon 108 times. Around the time of the full moon, I took the purified salt and put it back into the alcohol portion of the tincture. I put it under a pyramid back into the sand bath.

On 2015-12-31 I decide that I'm going to split this tincture into separate works. I separate the alcohol with some of the dissolved salt from the salt on the bottom of the container. I get about the same amount of 157mL of alcohol.

I put 2.14g of the salt into a container with about 65mL of the tincture that had absorbed the salt. I add distilled water to that jar until they're at an about 3:2 tincture:water ratio. I weight out the remaining salt and it is 11.24g. Keep in mind that both of these salts are a little moist from the tincture. I put it in a jar for drying. I place the tincture with distilled water, salt in the jar and the remaining about 90mL of alcohol tincture in the sand bath.

Atoms for Peace

February 19th, 2013

Atoms for Peace featuring has released their debut album today! They're doing a really cool thing where if you add a link to their page on your site, your site may appear in the background visualization, so I'm adding it here! Maybe some people out there will see this site spinning around in the background. Cool!


Here's the regular site HTTP://ATOMSFORPEACE.INFO/

Read on »

I Don’t Believe in the System

I did NOT vote November 13th, 2012

When people ask me why I do not vote, or harass me for not voting, or tell me I should have a more active role in politics, this is what I should tell them. It's true. I just don't believe in it. If I don't believe in Catholicism, then why would I go to Catholic church? I don't believe that the method we have of governing our lives works, so why would I go to the voting booth and take part in it?

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Something Special

Sacred Geometry Heart January 25th, 2012

I love you all sooooo much :-D :-D :-D

I tell a lot of people I love them, but what do I mean? What is love? I've heard hundreds of explanations ranging from a feeling that two people share to the highest form of energy. What do we mean when we say we love somebody?

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Free Soul of the Universe

January 4th, 2012

Politics! Society! My two least favorite things to talk about. They are so surrounded by negative energy that I'd just rather focus on better things. But now we have hullabaloo mumbo jumbo with occupy movements, political unrest, and the erosion of basic freedoms that were an integral part of the United States of America - and set the bar for human rights around the world. So, I figured it's a good time to talk about it because I can probably get it all out in one shot and never have to mention it again!

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Create your reality!

December 5th, 2011

Hi! If you didn't already, read Reflecting on creation – semantically!

And, if you haven't watched Butters in Imaginationland yet, give it a go too ;-) 1 | 2 | 3

So, here we are constantly skiddly beep bopping our stones across the pool of reality. Our power, aim, and the stone itself create impressions and patterns that affect the outcome.

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Reflecting on creation – semantically!

November 8th, 2011

Well, I was deep into a train of thought on how we should enjoy and respect our creations. I started to write, and wanted to share, until I realized how hard it was to explain without sufficiently defining what I believe a creation to be! So, here is a little of my brain background noise for you ;)

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A Scream from a Dream

Dream Castle October 24th, 2011

So, I'm going to do something that I never intended to do here, which is get personal. I've had a lot of vivid and powerful dreams lately, and many of my friends have told me the same. I've been interested in lucid dreaming for years and try to keep a dream journal, so, I am breaking my rules for purposes of record keeping and to share since others have expressed similar experiences recently. Screw the rules! ;)

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It’s Time for a Change

Fall Leaves September 15th, 2011

So, although this is not the first thing I am writing, I feel like it should precede anything else. Why did I make this website? You can read the about section, or the FAQs, but those only give you the general information, not the true driving forces behind its creation.

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The Spectrum

March 8th, 2011

Differences in the perception of reality between individuals is the biggest barrier to communication that exists. I'm not talking about differences in accounts of experience and information here, but in people's personal understanding of how they experience reality. So, in an effort to establish good communication, I will start my first post ever by describing how I perceive reality.


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March 4th, 2011

The internet is a great source of information, but as we all know there are a lot of cool things to be found out there too. My day job is a web developer so I am introduced to a diversity of new things. Every once in a while something I really like comes along, so I'll share those too!

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You Are Already Doing What You Want (Probably)

March 1st, 2011

What would you think if I told you that you were almost always doing what you wanted to do? You might think that I was crazy. Well I will try to convince you to come be crazy with me. It's fun ;)

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